Bummed out

I'm a little sad today. I am no means depressed, just not happy and cheery today. here is why:

Heath ledger died: I'm not a huge Heath fan. I like the Patriot, and A Knights Tale, and am looking forward to the new Batman movie where he plays the joker (I'm a huge Batman fan). But it's just sad to see some one die. I'm kinda glad that my response is a sadness rather than some sort of joy in his death. I seriously doubt Heath had any love for God or even knew who he was based on some of the other roles he has played. I know some "christians" will celebrate his death, But he was still some one's son, he's a father, and he had many fans who looked up to him. Now he's gone, it's still inconclusive as to weather he "killed himself" but with most of these young stars they started killing themselves long ago, by messing with drugs and alcohol and that kind of lifestyle. Other than that, the realization that he was about the same age as me is kind bothering me too. People aren't suppose to die at this age we are supposed to live to at least 70 right? isn't that what man has promised, we have a life span of seventy years. Ha yeah right. I wonder how many other people my age think that way. I guess I just got a dose of mortality and it didn't taste good. I guess I'm starting to drop off of the ideas that I'm 10 feet tall and bullet proof and I'll live til the Lord's return.

Running: I did run 18 miles last Saturday. Yay for me. Although it revealed something to me. The pace that I am at will not beat Katie Holmes. I'm not very happy about that. I really should not focus on that but it's beating me down. I'm not where near where I need to be for the marathon. I have no doubts that I will complete it but it's not going to be the time I was hoping for. I know I'm a whiny teenager with problems right?

Weight: OKay, I have cheated some times here and there. I'm back down to my weight I was before I put some it back on, but I'm still heavy. too heavy for running. If i keep this up I'm going to have hip and knee problems because of the amount of weigh pounding mile after mile. Kind of weird that I can run more 20 miles a week and not be dropping some major weight. I know Christmas killed cause there were many places to go and peoples food to eat. I'd just tell myself hey I run I can eat whatever. That's not true, for every mile I should be taking in about 100 calories. that's not that much. I should only be eating 2000 a day anyway. So on my long runs (like the 18 miler) I should have gotten a total of 3800 calories. I may have gone over that, which counters the whole reason for running. Losing weight is harder that you think. It's not impossible and I am public shaming those who gave up and say I just can't lose weight (oh yeah i see you look and my bug ole Fat finger pointing right at your, you know who you are), you can you just don't have enough discipline, like me. I am at least being reminded about that every time I look in the mirror. So I'll have to get on top of my diet more and get some more weight training in.

Work: my current job isn't really that exciting, I click buttons all day when there is work. I work 9 hour days so I get every other Friday off(very cool) but lately there has been a surge of NO WORK TO DO. It makes for a really long day and that can really bum you out, I think of all the things I could be doing and getting done.

The big one
School starts tomorrow for me:This is going to be one of my hardest classes. It's a portfolio class. I do a whole bunch of writing about my job and work experience then I turn in my portfolio and it gets sent off to some important scholarly people and they will award college credit for stuff I have done. Just taking the course gives me 3 credits, but I am going to be writing for a total of 15 hours. If I can do this that would leave me with about 6 credit or so to graduate. (awesome) if not I'll have to take a few more classes. If all goes according to plan I can graduate in August, if not it will have to be December or so. SO the pressure's on. The bad part is... I HATE TO WRITE. I'm bad at it, I can't cite sources, ugh it's just awful. SO yeah that has me down.

Long posted today and woe is me, I know there are people out there with real problems, but this is my blog and you are in my world now :)

I'll be okay once I get to go home and then to church. These things always perk me up.
Home=Shelly
Church=Godly friends